The time and energy put into a romantic relationship is often exhausting; when you have a busy schedule, the last thing you have time for is romance. But when you have a hectic schedule and romance is out of the question, your sexual needs don’t disappear! Sometimes those needs simply need to be met and the only way to get this satisfaction (without hiring a prostitute) is finding a person to be your friend with benefits.
This growing fad requires no date nights, no daily communication, and no jealousy attached! Simply sex whenever it’s convenient for two friends.
The idea of having a friend with benefits has always been a popular idea, although its possibility for success has been thought to be impossible. Surprisingly this sought-after relationship can be achieved, if you both understand a follow a few guidelines.
- Make sure that the relationship is mutually beneficial to both parties. Evaluate the situation even before the sex starts; if you know your potential friend with benefits has feelings for your even before adding sex into the equation, getting intimate with this person will simply lead them on. Once one person becomes more interested than the other, things are getting complicated; you both need to get what you want out of the relationship.
- Set some ground rules. If rules are laid out from day one, you both will know what is and is not appropriate for your relationship. (Maybe texting each other everyday is a no, no, but a call on a Friday night after the bars is perfect).
- No cuddling! Snuggling with your friend before and/or after sex is an intimate experience that helps you feel closer to your partner. Psychology Today explained that “not only can touch promote the release of oxytocin (the sometimes-called “bonding hormone” or “feel good hormone”) but psychologically touch can be a way to help someone feel love, cared for, reassured or desired,”. This is NOT what you want with your sex friend! So after the deed is done, gather your shit and run.
- Make hanging out specifically for sexual purposes. Once you start making play dates to catch up on your favorite shows together, things have gotten to be more than ‘just sex’.
- Hang out with other people! Don’t let your friend with benefits be the only guy/girl you’re hanging out with; you need distractions. If your sex friend is the main, or only, person you are hanging out with, you are more likely to become dependent upon them for things other than just sex.
- Don’t become territorial. Your friend with benefits is simply that, a sex friend, nothing more. So if they decide to hook up with someone else, that’s fine! Sex friends are supposed to stay fun and impersonal. Maintaining a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is not for everyone; if you are the jealous type or you can’t stand to be single, keeping an impersonal sex relationship may be too hard for you.
- If one of you starts to develop feelings for the other, STOP! Re-evaluate the situation; if one of you isn’t happy with the impersonal relationship, it’s time to call it quits.
The exciting feeling of ‘being bad’ every once in a while is one of the thrills attached to a friends with benefits relationship and one of the reasons it has gained its popularity. If you had the chance to be naughty for a night, would you?